Good News: You Are Completely Insignificant

I don’t know if everyone experiences this, but I frequently have religious people that approach me to talk God. This happened before I went into the Seminary, and continues to happen (much more uncomfortably) since dropping out.

Recently we had a couple Jehovah’s Witnesses come to our house and asked if we read the Bible.

Me: “Not so much since dropping out of the Seminary.”

Jehovah 1 to Jehovah 2: “Watch out for this one.”

I have slowly transitioned away from faith as time has gone on, and now can say I am an Atheist. I take no issue with people who maintain their faith, and make an effort to not persuade people away from it… so you don’t have to “watch out for me.” 

I do, however, take issue with people who appear to intentionally, confuse and conflate information in a way to make a case for God’s existence and purpose in our own lives.

A few days after my encounter with our J.W. friends, a pastor approached me and encouraged me to watch this video:

Pastor Louie Giglio, convincingly uses imagery and a lot of scientific facts to show how vast the Universe is and how microscopic we are in it. He does this to show the power of God and how weak we are. Just when you feel like the smallest particle on a tiny speck of dust, he redeems you with the promise that you are special because God made you.

How do we know God made you?

Exhibit: A – Laminin

Laminin, which is a protein in the human body that helps to “hold the body together.” (It also kind of looks like a Cross when simplified in diagram form.) Laminin is frequently and incorrectly cited by Christians, who are are trying to win over those who are scientifically inclined, as proof that God designed us… why else would he hide tiny crosses in us?

Exhibit: B - Laminin/Cross
Exhibit: B – Laminin/Cross

Well for starters, Laminin also looks like this:

Exhibit: C - Also Laminin
Exhibit: C – Also Laminin

This theory, based on a story that is likely made up, has many critics. Christian Fundamentalists. Recovering Fundamentalists. And of course, Real Scientists.

To summarize their varying objections in one all-encompassing statement; It is dangerous to look for signs of God outside of scripture, some signs that we could also find in our own body include Satanic Pentagrams and Swastikas

Exhibit: D – Swastika
Exhibit: E – Blue Pentgrams

…also it is very likely Jesus was not crucified… nullifying the significance of a lower case “t.”

Good News: You Are Completely Insignificant

It’s okay to be a small particle on a tiny speck of dust. It should empower you. Every decision you make is your own and reflective of the person you want to be during your brief time on this Pale Blue Dot.

I do encourage people to get caught up in the wonder and size of our Universe. Here is a much more straightforward and concise video to do that:

“God Speed… Can you imagine going that fast?” – Brian Regan


Raptor Kills Man at Ohio Amusement Park

August, 14 2015 – Sandusky, Ohio (EP) – A man who mistakenly entered a restricted area at Cedar Point amusement park, yesterday, was maimed and killed by the park’s newest attraction, a live Raptor.*

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Police say Jon H. Mond of Costa Rica had mistakenly entered the restricted area while looking for the Men’s room. When a park employee tried to stop Mond from entering the posted area, he alleges Mond’s last words were, “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

This attack confirms the fears of many of the new attraction’s critics. Dr. Ian Malcolm, who could not be reached for comment on this story, had previously stated his concerns, “you cannot control chaos.” Malcolm made these remarks while oddly dripping water on the back of his hand.

Despite the many concerns, the lead scientist behind this project, Dr. Wu, had repeatedly stated they had “spared no expense” in the preparation of this new attraction.

In exclusive security footage received from a source at the park, the initial attack can be viewed. WARNING: This footage is graphic. For the benefit of our readers, renowned paleontologist, Dr. Grant explains what we are viewing in this clip.

The park confirms the death in a statement saying “a guest entered a restricted, fenced-off area of the Raptor and was struck and killed.” It says its “thoughts and prayers go out to the family.”

(Copyright 2015 The Exaggerated Press. All rights reserved.)

*Some of the information in this story may be inaccurate. For further details on this story: NYDN.

15 Dollars – For What?

Fire Up That Loud

The squeaky wheel gets the grease – and fast food workers across the nation have created enough noise to warrant a level of grease that is only rivaled by the amount supplied in a medium sized order of fries at McDonald’s.

New York State recently rolled out a plan that would provide fast food workers across the state with a minimum wage of $15.00/hr or 31,200/year (if you’re working 40 hours/week).

This plan, of course, was met with open arms by society.




The arguments against the wage hike, exclusively for fast food workers, fell into two different categories.

1) They Don’t, So You Won’t

“Why should you make more than someone dodging bullets.” (I’m assuming they mean government military, and not private sector security.. which averages much more.) -@CallofDootie68*

“But a RN only makes ‘xx.xx’ so why do you deserve ‘yy.yy’?!?!” -Anonymous*

“Right so I got my MASTERS DEGREE and make 17/hr and YOU DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOL (sic) and make 15/hr… this COUNTRY!?!?!?!!?” -@Twits4Wits2099*

2) I Did, So You Should

“I worked three jobs to make a living and these people can’t even work one.” -@Wrkn4aLivn*

“I flipped burgers to support myself in college to BETTER myself – get a life – losers.” -@Trump4King1998*

They Are Right

This wage increase should not just be for “burger flippers”. It should be for everyone. Anyone who is working a full time job should not live in poverty… hence the term “Full Time”.

The argument that minimum wage/low skilled workers should be going to school to better themselves is absurd when you are also demanding them to work three jobs just to get by.

Where We Are

We criticize parents for not doing enough for their children – when parents have to choose between working 80 hours a week to pay the bills and not see their kids, or working less than that and not afford to feed them.

We criticize unskilled workers and call them lazy – when they have to choose between working three jobs to pay the bills and never having time to go to school, or working less than that and not being able to afford to go to school.

We want people to do more with less – look down upon them when they don’t succeed – and spit on them when they ask for help.

What I’m Not Saying

I’m not saying that there aren’t lazy people, there are.

I’m not saying there aren’t bad parents, there are.

And I’m not saying that the “American Dream” can’t be accomplished under the current conditions.

What I Am Saying

We would be better served providing an economic climate that rewards people who want to work their way into a better life – and not punishing those who are willing to work full time but not interested in doing more than flipping burgers or selling blue jeans.

We would be better served providing an environment where parents can work (one) full time job and still be able to be there to raise their kids.

We would be better served to stop referring to the American Dream as a “Dream.” And instead, working towards an environment where we can have an American Reality of full time labor that allows us to enjoy life… we’ve only got so much time here, folks.

Do we really want people to waste it working three different jobs flipping burgers or selling blue jeans or defending our country or caring for the elderly… just because we have a mentality of “this is the way it is, so this is the way it will be.”

Just because you did, doesn’t mean they should have to… it’s called empathy… it’s called progress.


*All quotes and Twitter Handles are fabricated… but you know you’ve seen these comments.